Tuesday, June 15, 2004
Mastodons,

We have entered Phase II of the release of the new album, and the excitement is palpable, it's practically dripping down the walls. Phase I: We tell you nothing; we develop the album in secret without offering even the slightest hint that an album is in development; we give you one thing and that is a total lack of information. Phase II: We give you a beefy, well-fed preview of the album; this is what happened today; we drop a preview on you, out of the blue, and it explodes your goddamn mind, driving first into your mind from all sides, like a hundred little drillers, and then exploding the whole damn thing; you are in this phase now. Phase III is of course when we roll out the full-fledged, 40 ounce, scratch and sniff album, which is a little ways off yet.

There's a lot of confusion out there, a lot of hysteria, a lot of excited moaning and hysteric confusion. The safest way, we feel, to approach this sort of situation is through an FAQ. And . . . . voila:

What will it be called? The album will be called Ask Your Doctor About We Are Scientists, and frankly that's just what you should do.

What form will it take? A three-song e.p. with bonus materials.

Bonus materials? Divulge! Never. Lest the surprise be smeared. Among other things, you can expect a hi-res version of the Great Escape video, that fateful video, so that you and your loved ones will be able to experience its full-screen, tiny-pixelled beauty. Until then, make do with what is currently posted on the front page it's more than any person has ever had in the entire course of history.

What about album art? Will there be album art? Of course there will it will blow your goddamned mind apart. We're thrashing toward greatness in this category even now, even as you sit there on your donut-cushion and read this.

ASCAP or BMI? Christ you're thorough. ASCAP. ASCAP all the way. We Are Scientists is an ASCAP band always has been, always will be. Fuck those fuckers over at BMI! Three letters?! Three letters in their acronym?! What underachievement! "ASCAP": now there's an acronym!

Will there be t-shirts? Will I ever be able to get t-shirts from you again? Yes. Shut up.

Okay but: WHEN WILL IT BE OUT!?!? Mid summer. Vague? Yes. Accurate? Also. Does this mean the ides of July? Right around there. As late as August? No way!!! No!!! Fucking!!! Way!!!

Maybe.

But really we're angling for something much earlier. So many factors, you see. There are so many factors that only the oracles and the snakeheads can predict anything with any kind of accuracy these days.

And so when does the snakehead say it will be out? Jesus, even he doesn't know.

And that's it! That's all! When next you hear something from us about Ask Your Doctor About We Are Scientists, it will be us saying "Shit is out, little kid! The album! Is! Ooouuuut!!"