Wednesday, Dec 11, 2002

Look, people. We want to update more often. We know you crave the information, we hear your pleas, we see you crouching outside of our windows. But, for multiple reasons, sometimes it seems prudent to hold back. Just to cinch up our belts and play coy for a while. What good does it do us to tell you about the WAS feature film - starring Ben Affleck as Keith, Matt Damon as Chris and Danny DeVito as Michael - that is currently in post-production? What good does it do to get you excited, when we all know that the film will most likely never see release, so shocking and challenging and frankly carnal is much of the content of this very faithful autobiography? It does nobody any good. So, we like to hold off, enjoy our grapeade, and not say a word until the things, the incredibly exciting things that we are always scheming, are 100% going to happen. But let us just prime the pump a little by saying that, yeah, you will see some neat things soon. Another problem here, though, is that our server is troubled. We're having problems here, kids, we won't lie. Yes, we are scientists, but we are also idiots, and, most of the time, we can't get these computers to do our bidding. Upload the file! Keith screams at his monitor hourly, but his CompuShitty brand computer steadfastly refuses to respond. So, Keith sits around at home, watching the video for Bomb Inside the Bomb over and over, marveling at the sheer achievement in animation that has been made here, laughing with childlike whimsy every time he sees the part with the goose. Oh, the part with the goose is so good. But it looks like you kids while not see frame one of this Oscar-deserving short until Keith figures out the difference between right-clicking and clicking "Ctrl + Alt + Delete" over and over and over, shrieking with fury and frustration until he is tucked into bed and euthanized by his band mates. --------