Friday, Apr 05, 2002

It's a cold, shiny Friday here in Man Hat Town [ed.: the Scientists are actually right on with this; the etymological derivation of 'Manhattan' can be traced back to three foundational elements – 'Man', 'Hat', and 'Town'], and we're starting to wonder about a few things.

As a band, we're wondering:
• How long 'til the fame comes? Where is it and when will it be here?
• When it does come, how will we know it? Will it be artfully personified? Will it look like Danny DeVito? Or not?
• If so, what would that mean for fame to "look like Danny DeVito"? I mean clearly it can't look like Danny DeVito, per se. So I mean, what the fuck?

Michael is wondering:
• Which is my right thumb, which is my left?
• Clearly one happens to be attached to my left hand and one to my right hand - it's not difficult to determine which is which. But the point is am I supposed to accept that as the definitive factor? That's a leap of faith I'm not exactly psyched about making.
• If you look at my thumbs and ignore the hands they're attached to, you see that there's really no visible difference. None whatsoever. Further, I have noticed that sometimes when I tell my right thumb to move my left thumb moves instead of my right, or intended, thumb. When I say 'tell it to move', of course, I don't mean that I literally just say the word "move!" aloud while eyeing my thumb; obviously I'm talking about a neural command being issued by my brain, I'm talking about crossing my eyes as tightly as I can, then saying aloud, "Brain. Now hear this. Tell the right thumb to move please. Kindly do this ASAP." And then the brain moves the thumb; though - and this is what I've been getting at - not usually the correct thumb these days.
• This all leads me to the conclusion that my thumbs may be on the wrong hands or - best case scenario - there's no way to tell.

Keith is asking himself:
• Where do they have cats that I can get cats?
• I want one for this weekend - can you even get them that fast, cats?
• I could pretend it's an emergency.
• That's not strictly speaking untrue. I need to snuggle! I need to snuggle wuggle wuggle the kitties!
• Then I will bury them in the yard.

Chris is wondering:
• Do the russians mean what they say? Specifically about the cement boots and swimming with the fishes?
• Would they really go to that much effort over me? The effort of casting me a pair of cement boots?
• Might it forestall the rooskies if I pointed out that with cement boots on I would not really be able to "swim" with the fishes? I would pretty much just stand there on the ocean floor and maybe interact with them in a minimal way, like swat at them or something.
• That's clearly a pretty unexamined juxtaposition - the cement boots thing and the swimming with the fishes thing. Initially the pairing may suggest itself just cuz they're both underwater activities, but they're really pretty much totally incompatible.

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