Wednesday, October 12, 2005
One of the best things about touring with a band is meeting so many nice, interesting people. The other day, in Peterborough, at a Sainsbury's, we got to meet the UK's Prime Minister, Tony Blair. He turned out to be the weirdest guy! He didn't speak a word of politics or economics or stuff about the war; he just told us this:

"You know the oddest thing emerged just this weekend from the behaviour [sic] of my cat, whom I call Smallsley, Smallsley the Grey. Espying a finch a'perch a bough in the rear-lawn cherry grove, Smallsley fixed his little stare, angled his head just so, giving him rather a mischievous air, and began chattering his teeth against one another, clapping his two rows of ivory nibs together like a set of wind-up dentures. Smallsley went on about this for probably ten minutes before wandering off to topple his milk dish or perform some similar minor tyranny. I counted his teeth clicks, and it was two hundred ninety-seven. Enjoy your stay in Britain."

Tuesday, September 06, 2005

Yes, we've been on tour in the UK, and, yes, we've been ignoring the website, and, yes, we've been representing the United States with the bearing and dignity that one would expect of a bunch of toddlers who have been armed with amplifiers and an almost unquenchable thirst for the more alcoholic of the world's beverages. We will, of course, deliver a thoroughly saturated report on this little whirlwind tour of ours once we've set foot on American soil and finally stopped sobbing with relief. Because, you see: this is tiring, this swooping around England like some kind of tripartite incarnation of Santa Claus, bestowing our musical gifts 'pon the Brits, the beautiful Brits, their eyes aglow with the sort of wonder that we, the members of We Are Scientists, haven't known since 12th grade health class, when the anatomical differences between males and females were finally made at least moderately clear (we are burdened, still, with so, so many questions). In any case, we know it's time to go home, because Natalie - our tour manager and overseer and best friend in all of Britain - clearly hates us now and wants to see us either shipped off to the States or investigated, cranially, with mallets.

But, yes, guys, the tour has been a startling success, and we've basically been wanting to kiss everybody over here full on the lips, so: thanks England. Thanks for Reading and Leeds festivals, which were the musical equivalent of a full-body massage, but, like a full-body massage that actually gets *inside* the body and flips all kinds of excruciatingly mind-blowing orgasm buttons, and also you're drunk. And thanks for coming to the shows in numbers heretofore unseen by these here We Are Scientists, kids congregating like Romero-style zombies who have finally breached the fortified walls of the last human stronghold, pouring into every WAS-housing venue and dancing a macabre hipster zombie dance. And, especially, thanks for hooking us up with the inimitable Roland Shanks, a band for whom our love is overflowing, literally, onto our shoes. Expect a full detailed report on these fellows in the near future, when we'll get into the gritty details regarding why, since the RS boys got on board, our tour has had to be renamed "Doggin' 'n' Froggin' in the UK". It gets dirty.

Monday, August 15, 2005
Field mice,

Last week we got in there over at 770 broadway, over there in the village, we got in there and we did some work for the MTVu people, did some things that -- should you expose yourself to them -- will enter your mind like a semtex weevil and blow the whole fuckin nerve basket there into about ninety pieces. What we did is a taping for a show called The Freshmen. That involved us sitting on stools and watching music videos and critiquing them on-camera. Usually the program has college kids trying to drop the knowledge, but as you go to college in the first place because you don't know shit and are trying to find out one or two or -- in the best cases -- three things, and but since college students feel that they must act as though sometime early in their freshman year they already learned one of those things -- which act results in empty arrogance --, we're very sure our critiques will go down in MTVu history as wise and turbulent on an almost biblical level. Don't take that slight on college kids too personally, college kids -- we were in college, too, and that's exactly how we know about the rampant hubris. Now we're just as sure of ourselves, but with the added ingredient of nearly always being right, we've gone from 'really tired to be around' to 'really, really fucking fun to be around'. Hey but so we'll be hosting The Freshmen all week August 22nd through the 28th. Monday, August 22, is an especially hot day to watch MTVu because Nobody Move, Nobody Get Hurt is going to be a "Back to School Week All-Day Premiere" that day, which means that with the exception of the Freshmen episode we host that day, literally the entire 24 hours of programming that day will be the bear video over and over again, back to back. No, just kidding, but they will play it many times throughout the day, is our understanding, that that will mark the first showing of W.A.S. video footage on home territory. Equals BIG TIME.

Saturday, July 09, 2005
Well, to many of you this is going to come as a real mallet blow to the skull, and not in the good way that sometimes when you snort a line of crazy fluorescent pink powder it can feel like a mallet blow to the skull. No, this is the bad kind of braining, the kind where we have to tell you that we need to postpone most of the dates that compose the imminent NATIONAL TOUR OF AMERICA OF ALL TIME. We'll still be playing out to Chicago, and the L.A., North Carolina, and D.C. dates remain secure. See the revised schedule here. We're piercingly aware that we are dropping a Suck Bomb on people, not our usual Thrill Bomb or Lust Bomb. But scheduling the next couple of months in such a way that we can do all the touring we want to do and also get the 256,455 elements of the album ready in time for various releases -- well, it's gotten tight, is the point. Something had to go. How else can we finish all the videos? And go to all the parties? And do the vamping that we need to do? And snort the full course of fluorescent pink powders? No but seriously, we are doing all kinds of stuff these days, and you have our word it's all going to make you proud. For example, here's a couple of shots of us on set at the video shoot for The Great Escape:

And here we are at a shoot for L'Uomo Vogue:

And hey! Hey! Here's us getting ready to tape a piece for MTV2 UK:

And yeah, we've been playing our hearts out:

And signing the autographs:

And we've been getting the tanks into position:

And Chris brought this dead squirrel back to life:

And, and...

Fuck, guys... sorry about postponing these dates.

Thursday, June 16, 2005
We are in the U.K., we are playing the songs, we are wowing the listeners, minds are being shattered, and so are lives. Keep your eye on the Past Shows page (linked at the bottom of the Shows page) for debriefings on the shows after they've been played. Why? Because you've got to know in case you're at a cocktail party and somebody says, "Can you believe the events that occurred at the Huddersfield show last week? Have you heard about this?" You want to be able to say, "Have I heard? Have I heard? Maybe, what part are you talking about?"

Have we officially announced that the 'Nobody Move, Nobody Get Hurt' single is coming out in the U.K. on June 27? Please believe that it is. Already it can be heard on British radio and the video viewed on MTV2 and the lyrics read on the lips of the nation's youth whenever it's played within earshot. This morning we were interviewed for an MTV2 show called 'Gonzo'; the episode will air near the release date. We're a bit worried because the 15 minute interview is going to be cut down to a two minute segment, and we might have accidentally given a minute and a half or two minutes total worth of straight answers. So it's possible some asshole editor is going to get ahold of the footage and cut out the 13 solid minutes of raving, asinine ego-tripping, and that would really be too bad.

Here's a short film from the van: