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"intrepid rhythm arrangements, clever lyrics,... booty shaking" -TimeOut New York  |
 HITCHENS: You're Edward. EDWARD: Um, yes. Uh... yes. HITCHENS: Edward, do you know who I am? EDWARD: Um... You're, you're Mr. Hitchens. HITCHENS: Hitchens. EDWARD: Hitchens. That's, um... I think that's what I said. HITCHENS: It's just Hitchens, Edward. EDWARD: Oh, it, it– HITCHENS: Why do you think you'd be right for this job, Edward? EDWARD: Why do I, um... I think that, um... Well, I think that... Um, Mr. um..., er, Hitchens? HITCHENS: Just Hitchens. Yes, Edward. EDWARD: They actually didn't tell me anything about the job. So... HITCHENS: I find that hard to believe, Edward. EDWARD: Oh. But... No. They didn't tell me. HITCHENS: I admire your honesty, Edward. EDWARD: Uh... thanks, thank you. HITCHENS: However I deplore unpreparedness. Though apparently it's not your fault, is that right? EDWARD: No, I... They said you'd explain the job. HITCHENS: Let me ask you something, Edward. Do you have quick, dextrous hands? EDWARD: Hands, sir? I... HITCHENS: Edward. EDWARD: Sir? HITCHENS: Hitchens. EDWARD: Hit– Hitchens. HITCHENS: Do you have quick, dextrous hands, Edward. EDWARD: I... do? HITCHENS: And are you tolerant of extremely high temperatures? EDWARD: I... I don't know, sir. I don't... I don't think so. Not particularly. HITCHENS: Your letter says you are. EDWARD: It– It does? HITCHENS: The letter from Employment. It does. EDWARD: Oh. Well, um... how high? The temperatures. HITCHENS: Very high, Edward. EDWARD: Oh. Oh, in that case– HITCHENS: Let me ask you, Edward, whether you think you could maintain manual dexterity over extended periods in high temperatures. EDWARD: Um... sir? I'm really not sure I could. HITCHENS: Edward. EDWARD: I'm sorry, sir, I'm not trying to... to... I'm not hoping to get out of the job, sir, it's just I'm really not sure I could... could... HITCHENS: Edward, of course no one enjoys working under adverse conditions. But you go home at the end of the day to comfort. To everything you need for sustaining a fulfilling existence. And in exchange you work. That's how we run a society. It's how society has always been run, Edward. EDWARD: Yes, sir, that's true, I just– HITCHENS: Edward, you dealt cards in Recreation for three years. I have no reservations about your dexterity. Neither should you. This is substantially the same thing, except instead of cards you'll be working with organics. EDWARD: O– Organics, sir? HITCHENS: Living tissue, Edward. Ergo the heat. Incubation. EDWARD: Sir, I– I– HITCHENS: I'm awarding you the post, Edward. Please be here tomorrow for standard schedule. Entry is on level 6. EDWARD: Thank you, sir. HITCHENS: Hitchens, Edward. You're welcome. Recently from the "we" are scientists... Rock and Rollerskate Invite Science Diaries (#8) The Magician Letter to Principal Rumsfeld Puppy Invite Baby Pictures Snakehead Invite Failed Aphorisms Science Diaries (#7) Scenes from the Boda Dome: New Cat Science Diaries (#6) Vulgarity Charted The Ham Canner Very Short Story Kid Talk The Parrot Between Us Science Diaries (#5) Letter to Bush Science Diaries (#4) Science Diaries (#3) Solid Military Tips WAS Goes Rogue Beatific Musings Science Diaries (#2) Possibly Naked Epistle This Dude's Script Scenes from the Boda Dome: Noise Disturbance Roughing Up the Fauna Pick Your Produce Filmed Stardom Scenes from the Boda Dome: Weapon Scientific Makeover Phrases Ne'er Spoken Corrections and Addenda Scenes from the Boda Dome: Elevator The Pup Responds The Unimaginable Cruelty! WAS Search Terms A Treasure Trove of Pickup Lines (Part 3) A Treasure Trove of Pickup Lines (Part 2) A Treasure Trove of Pickup Lines (Part 1) Letter to Kraft Fresh Jive meet Vince DeNunzio Minor Alterations of Song Lyrics Followed by Evaluations of Merit Science Diaries (#1) It has gone too far It Took Ten Minutes to Concept Super Mario Bros. Schwarzeneggerian Taunt Contest(Part II)(Part III) A letter to Keith WAS Libs Love Kisses from WAS Significant Discoveries Made by we are scientists / Part 1 |
