Danny Dans Dir. of Console Gaming for NES North America
Jim Jimereeno and Andy Antics Chief Creative Officers

Dans: Next item... the side-scroller. We need characters and story so when Japan is here next week we have something to show them. Ideas.
Antics: What about, like, cooking.
Jimereeno: What about princess, dragon, knight, all that.
Dans: I like it. Let's go with a classic kidnapped princess thing. What's the twist.
A: A cooking twist.
D: Fuck cooking. Jim?
J: Ah, ah... hmmm...
D: Throw something out.
J: Vegetables. Mushrooms.
D: I don't want cooking.
J: No, like... She's princess of the mushroom people. Princess Toadstool.
D: Princess Toadstool. Tremendous. Gimme more. Who's the bad guy, keep it coming.
J: Turtles!
A: Oo, oo, turtles!
D: Maybe turtles as the minions. The boss can't be a turtle.
A: Can't he? I mean think about it.
D: No, he can't. The boss can't be a turtle. Clearly not. He's, he's... I need ferocity from the boss, not sluggishness and wisdom. Not bookishness.
J: I don't think you're thinking of turtles. You're thinking of owls. Turtles I don't think you can describe as bookish. Maybe... maybe wise, I guess, if only because they're kind of measured, but not really bookish.
D: What, you haven't seen Robin Hood the cartoon? The Disney one? Skippy the turtle? Nerd with glasses?
J: Okay. But still. They're ill-tempered. They have terrible tempers.
A: Turtles have beaks, right? Sharp?
D: Turtle's fly off the handle, you're telling me. The boss isn't a turtle. If only for variety's sake.
A: What about a dog. They're mean.
D: True.
J: A huge dog with a huge turtle shell.
D: I love that.
J: With spikes.
D: I-- I love that. Okay. So what happens.
J: Dog invades mushroom kingdom with turtle army, turns mushroom people into bricks, like, like stones... ah... puts princess in the dungeon, and she's the only one who can undo the spell, the brick spell.
D: Wow. Just-- wow. Japan will shit a brick.
A: So to speak! Brick?! Heh heh.
D: Very nice. What about the hero. Who's the knight.
J: Oh... I mean... fireman, opera singer, barracuda, canteloupe, a pair of... a pair scissors, a... a fucking... a fucking plumber, you know? Almost doesn't matter.
D: Absolutlely. Pick one. Andy? Pick one.
A: Ummmmmm... plumber I guess.
D: Great. What's the twist.
J: Twin plumbers. Italian. From, like, Brooklyn.
D: I love that. They're twins from Brooklyn. Italian plumbers. Names?
J: Mussolini. Mussolini and, and... Tito.
D: Tito? Is Tito Italian?
J: I don't know to be honest.
A: Mario?
D: That's Italian.
J: Mario and Luigi.
D: Tremendous. The Mario brothers.
J: So wouldn't that make their last name Mario? So it's Mario Mario?
D: I don't follow.
J: Mario and Luigi Mario? It's the Wright brothers because their last name was Wright. Orville and Wilbur Wright or whatever. So if they're the Mario brothers then Mario's last name is Mario. Mario Mario.
D: Okay. I'm fine with that.
J: Yeah?
D: Definitely.
J: Mario Mario and Luigi Mario, the Mario brothers?
D: It's almost too good.

for Malcolm

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