We Want You Listening For A Lifetime
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| Used wisely, your new sound equipment will provide a lifetime of fun and enjoyment. [Corporate Name Removed] recommends you avoid prolonged exposure to excessive noise. This list of sound levels is included for your protection. |
| Decibel Level | Example |
| 30 | Quiet library, soft whispers, lingering doubts |
| 40 | Living room, bedroom away from traffic, moral transgressions |
| 50 | Air conditioner at 20 feet, crushing failure after graduation |
| 70 | Vacuum cleaner, hair dryer at one foot, bugs (assorted) |
| 80 | Average city traffic, alarm clock, your sanctimonious brother at two feet |
| THE FOLLOWING NOISES CAN BE DANGEROUS UNDER CONSTANT EXPOSURE |
| 90 | Subway, lawn mower, your own excuses echoing in your head |
| 100 | Garbage truck, those sniggering coworkers, because JUST WHAT ARE THEY SNIGGERING AT FOR SO LONG, ANYWAY? |
| 120 | Rock band concert, thunderclap, the clap (again) |
| 140 | Gunshot blast, jet plane, dialogue from any given film by Hal Hartley |
| 180 | Rocket launching, and, again, you're not on it |
